We had a deal, remember?

I could hear the horrible sound of battle ringing in my ears. At first, it was too overwhelming, as if my ears were bleeding. Guns were firing constantly, planes were crossing overhead, bombs were falling, and grenades were landing all around me. There was only horror, fear, and death.

It took me some time for my ears to adjust to the noise. I don't know how long it took, it could have been seconds or hours. But suddenly, my breath was louder than the gunfire, and my footsteps were stronger than the planes.

As I looked around me, I saw a fellow soldier lying dead just a few meters to my right. A bullet had pierced his skull, taking away his life. He was young, maybe even younger than me. I would have guessed he was sixteen. The losses were already too great. Women were sent to war, and minors were fighting on the front line.

I didn't know him, but I wept for him. He deserved it, just like every soldier. I kneeled and closed his eyelids, giving him a gentle caress and a kiss on his cheek. I felt as if I were his mother, saying goodbye to her son.

But I knew I couldn't stay there, if I did, I would be as good as dead. So, I got up and continued to fight.

I ran forward, seeking cover, ignoring the rattling sounds and the screams. I shut them all out to keep my sanity and the last bits of humanity I had left. I sat down again, recharging my weapon, wiping away the sweat off my forehead. Then I got up, ready to fire again. The noise from my gun was reassuring. As long as I heard it, I was alive, even though I was randomly killing other people. My humanity was almost gone.

My finger was about to pull the trigger when time stopped. He was there, looking at me. The sun was shining on his face, making his black hair seem lighter. There were barely any clouds in the sky. It was exactly like the day we met on that sunny afternoon, at a park full of green leaves and cherry-colored flowers. Everything was so simple back then. We were two students, having a picnic in a ray of rare autumn sunshine. The memory of that day was so vivid that it felt like it was happening right now. There were no green leaves now. No simplicity. At least the sky was the same.

He looked older, as if ten years had passed since I last saw him, even though it was less than a year. His shoulders looked as if they carried the burdens of the world. In a way, they were. His eyes looked tired and sad. They used to be so happy and curious, always looking around, taking everything in. I had missed that. But now, those eyes had seen too much. We were no longer young, innocent, and carefree. We were caught up in a hate war, one we wanted no part in.

I froze, unsure of what to do. Should I shoot him? Stand there and wait to be shot by him? Drop my gun, run, and kiss him? Everything seemed justifiable in war. But my heart couldn't bring itself to pull the trigger. I couldn't bring myself to kill him, not like this.

I could see that he was struggling with the same decision. A grenade landed near me, and my ears rang loudly. My vision blurred, and smoke surrounded me. I could no longer see him. I panicked. I couldn't bring myself to shoot him. Or could I? If I had, I would have lost more than my humanity. I crawled towards his direction, half-deaf, half-blind, my body aching, and my eyes stinging. And then our hands touched. He hugged me, crying. I cried, too.

"We had a deal, remember? We promised to visit each other's country, make it work, fight for this, for us, for this relationship. I kept my word... in a way," he said, and we cried more. He wasn't lying. I thought that these visits would be like tourism. I thought we would show each other our cities and cultures. I would have never guessed that we would meet but in the middle of this bloody battlefield.

It was a heart-wrenching realization that the war had forced us to be on opposite sides, and we were forced to face the reality that in war, love and humanity have no place. We hugged each other tightly and cried, knowing that we were in the middle of a war, and we had to face the fact that we could never be together.

We weren't friends. We were enemies. Holding guns against one another.

How on earth could I kill the love of my life?